April 11, 2001
Work wasn't fun today. I'm still a real moron. When lunch rolled around I got kind of depressed. I felt like calling Bam and telling him I missed him. We went out last night again cuz I bummed myself out writing this e-mail to Jon. I was so mean in it that I got myself the fuck down and I started crying. I always fucking do that, make myself cry. It's almost a hobby.
April 12, 2001
I went and met Kings and Ed O'My God at coffee today. They were thinking about going to a strip club after Kings mentioned how Rock 105.3 has Stripper Thrusdays. We only ended up eating at KFC and going home. I asked Kings to borrow some pictures of him during his punk days so that I can put them on my website. We ended up going through his whole shoebox and digging up pictures of everyone--Josh and Troy, Tom and even Ed O'My God. I've been thinking about making individual pages for each of those guys. More work for me.
April 14, 2001 Audiotistic
[Too lazy to write about tonight in detail to my satifaction. I'll get back to you on that.]
April 15, 2001
I was supposed to call Loren and have breakfast with him or something before he left to go back to SF at 1:00, but I slept so well it only entered my mind to wake up a couple times before I opened my eyes and it was already 11:00. My legs are totally sore from all that goddamn dancing... I should be Amish. Bam woke me up at 3:15 after I had gone back to sleep. We went to Tower Records where I ran into Lea Barraza, a chick I knew from high school, because she was working there. We talked not so much because we were friends or anything before but more for the reason that she knew the guys I hang out with now--Tom, Kings, Josh, etc--and I told her I'd call her the next time the guys and I got together. I bought the Empire Records movie and a box of Salem's Magical Mystery bubble gum. You know, that talking black cat on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. His mouth opens to dispense gumballs. I had to have it. That's because I'm a douche-bag.
April 16, 2001
Back to work. You know what happened 22 years ago today? Some teacher bitch pumped four of her students full of lead with the excuse that she hated Mondays. Boy, was she a mess. I'm not that fucked up but I sure as hell wish I could skip all this learning bullshit and just be good at my job already. It's frustrating to go from a job you kick ass at to a job where you're an f'n dillweed who damn near doesn't know their ass from their elbow. Sometimes I'm a nervous shitty wreck and I wanna go outside to light up 20 cigarettes at once and smoke until I disentegrate into a pile of ash. Once I'm not such a moron I probably won't mind it anymore.
April 17, 2001
The parental units are fighting as I write this. I locked myself in my brother's room and turned up "Swahili Bob" by Deadbolt to drain out their voices, but then my mom started throwing dishes and damn near broke everything in the entire kitchen. That woman's got a temper like a madman. She threw a bowl or something at my dad and kept on breaking shit, and they were yelling at each other in Vietnamese garble. My dad kept saying to my mom, "Go ahead! Do it again! I dare you to do it again!" So my mom kept breaking dish after dish after dish. I started to cry a little bit like I did when I was seven years old and my parents would fight. I heard them rumbling around upstairs and my mom was screaming like my dad was choking her. It made my heart beat kinda fast, but I was actually hoping he was. I hope he smacked the shit right out of her face. Then they started yelling some more. So I came out of the room while they were upstairs and the whole goddamn kitchen floor was a mess. Even dirty dishes from the sink with food on it were broken. What a mental patient, my mom. If I grow up to be a serial killer it'll be her fault. I should be shooting out schools with a mother like that, or putting on bisexual puppet shows for little kids. After all, I was raised by that evil. I was raised by Hitler. She broke our pretty plates.
Bam and I hung out in P.B. and got some coffee. I also got to meet three of his friends from San Francisco before that but they left to stay with someone in L.A. after they got their hands on some weed. I was pretty tired and felt kinda stoned myself. Crying so much makes my eyes damn near fall out of my crazy head.
I still couldn't get up to go to work today. I bet people at work think I'm a real asshole. There's this one kid I don't know about. It's funny that I call him "kid" because he's actually a very mature bastard. His attitude reminds me a lot of Kelly's which isn't a good thing at all. He's one of those handsome as hell bastards that are probably kinda mean to girls he doesn't know cuz he doesn't want them to be on his damn jock all the time. There was a tool like that at my old job too, Mike, who I knew was thinking every chick in the store wanted more than anything to get his rocks off. But he was to cool for anyone, so he always acted shy as hell and always stared at the floor. Good lucking guys do that sometimes.
I once asked Mike if he wanted to do some LSD sometime. I must have been frying when that happened. He started talking about his new girlfriend and how he's always busy spinning hip-hop at clubs or some crap, so he doesn't have time to do silly drugs he's already done. That was his response to the LSD question. I wish I'd told him to get over himself. I didn't ask him to freakin marry me.
So today I asked my friend Scott about the mature bastard that works at my job now. I asked him if the guy had any personality whatsoever because it sure as hell doesn't seem so. He seems to me like a total load. I saw him during lunch in the break room lying on the couch, reading a book and reaching into a box of crackers beside him on the floor. Posed as hell. I asked him what he was reading, and with his eyes glued to the page, he mumbled "John Grisham." That was pretty much the extent of it. So I got my coffee and walked out thinking he was a total bore. He probably didn't want to talk because it would make him skip a whole word or two.
Tonight Kings and Nick picked me up and we went downtown to Fumari with Tom and Murk following us. Bam met us there later on. Nick did about 95 the whole way down there, on the ramps and everything. We were calling each other "piles" all night. I told the guys someone on my website bulletin board called me a "slut", a "stupid bitch", and said all my friends were "piles." I guess the guy meant like piles of shit. Tom and Kings were thinking and concluded that if any of us were piles, it would have to be either Geoff or Jarhead's brother, Micah. They both look pretty pilish to me. They both resemble piles of whipped cream, rather.
After smoking our sheesha the guys split and Bam and I paid old Jon a visit. It wasn't as weird as I expected going with my boyfriend to visit my ex-boyfriend. Okay, I'm a witch. We just had a few beers and shot the bull. By the end of the night I got a bit testy (testes?) and caught a sarcastic bug and wouldn't stop insulting Jon. He got mad at me when I asked him if Kayla was gonna nail herself to a cross for Good Friday.
The guy that I was making fun of earlier this week, the one with the Jon Grisham novel, he actually said hi to me today. He had no choice though, really. We walked by each other, made eye contact and I made a fart noise with my mouth at him. So he said "hi," and I responded with "Yo, yo!"
I think he's afraid of me.
The Jurassic 5 song I downloaded wasn't the one I wanted. I'm trying to find out which one everyone knew at Audiotistic, when everyone was singing, "Daaa dee dada duh dee da.." It isn't "Influence", like my brother thought it was, or "Doo Wop" as it's called on Napster... I'm damn near giving up. Maybe it's a Blackalicious song. [Does anyone know? E-mail me at gypsy86@hotmail.com, all you underground hip-hop buffs. Loren?]
Uysh. Today I started designing individual webpages for the guys. I was working on my website at work today in my notebooks, and my supervisor got all pissed. She first asked me all nicely, "What are you working on?" I didn't want to say "A journal for my website" or something cheesy and young like that, so I said, "Um, it's not really work-related." So she said, "I don't want you working on that, you're on our time," blah blah blah. Fuck off. Huhuh. My website is very important. If I didn't have this website to express myself I'd probably be shooting out our goddamn bank and not just working there. Lame ass.
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